Medically reviewed by Sophia Yen, MD, MPH – Written by Pandia Health Editorial Team
Let’s talk about sex. Sex can be very personal and some women may shy away from spilling details to their friends, while others openly talk about female masturbation over brunch. Just because some women choose not to share what goes down in their sheets does not mean that they are not sex-positive, and being sex positive does not mean you are having orgies left and right.
Sex positivity is most commonly defined as “having positive attitudes about sex and feeling comfortable with one’s own sexual identity and with the sexual behaviors of others.” When it comes to sex positivity, it really is all about acceptance – of your body, of your sexual desires, of your curiosity, of other peoples’ practices, of the importance of safe sex, and of your sexual identity.
Being sex positive means embracing sex in a judgement-free way, meaning your gender identity, sexual kinks, or porn-watching habits should not have any bearing on whether you are sex positive or not.
Sex positivity is something to be celebrated! That’s why places like MedArmour, an online store that hosts a variety of resources on sexual health and sells medical grade sex toys, exist. This company champions taking control of your intimacy and sexual health; it sells fun toys, contraception, and lubricants to help you feel empowered in the bedroom.
Sex positivity goes beyond getting it on with your partner(s); it is a mindset that allows you to feel like your most authentic self.
Here are 5 ways to be sex positive:
We all know there is a lot of stigma surrounding sex. High school students are not receiving the inclusive, comprehensive sex-ed they need and deserve – in states like Georgia, schools still teach and advocate for abstinence-based education.
However, it is important that people understand their sexual health, their bodies, and how to take care of them from a young age. So, how can we work toward this? Call your state’s legislature! Education is power and part of being sex positive means advocating for young people to receive adequate and accurate information.
Be a “Consent Queen”
Consent is sexy, but also mandatory, so embrace it. Consent is the mutual agreement between parties who are partaking in a sexual activity together – anything less does not constitute as consent. Being sex postive means you support your partner(s) desires for when and how to engage in sexual activities.
Consent is also an important conversation to have with friends and family. Educating yourself and others on what consent really means will encourage everyone to be more sex positive.
Part of owning your sexuality involves fully embracing everything about yourself. Yes, everyone has their insecurities, but it is important to know that your value is not defined by the acceptance of others. It is much easier said than done, but practice loving all your curves and edges. Having confidence in yourself helps with increasing your own self-respect and your sexual empowerment.
Explore Your Body and Know Your Anatomy
An alarming amount of women do not know where the vagina and the cervix are located even when presented with medical illustrations. In a 2016 survey, 44% of surveyed women could not properly label an illustration of a female reproductive tract. Knowing our bodies can help empower us.
Whether it be helping educate others or furthering your own knowledge, understanding your reproductive tract can help you understand what you may enjoy more in terms of sex; it also can help you identity where pain issues or other health problems are coming from. Giving yourself the freedom to truly explore your body and anatomy without judgement helps to empower you sexually – your body is beautiful, so own it!
On top of that, accepting our bodies, especially our vaginas, can help with being sex-positive. Porn creates an unrealistic image of what most vaginas look like, which results in women seeking labiaplasty and vaginal bleaching. Many women have anxiety regarding the appearance of their vulva, which is the external part of the female genitalia. When it comes to vaginas and vulvas, there is no singular appearance; these complex and beautiful features come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors.
Looking at your vagina with a handheld mirror can be educational and eye-opening; if you haven’t tried this before, give it a shot! Don’t feel embarrassed – being comfortable with your own body includes having an understanding of what every part looks like. Remember, there is no “normal” looking vagina – the variety of appearances out there is what makes you unique!
Allow Yourself (and Others) Pleasure and Respect
Sex positivity includes giving yourself the time and space to fulfill your sexual desires, and respecting what gives other people pleasure. Be considerate of the fact that people are turned on by different things and do not judge a friend, partner, or yourself for possessing a sexual kink.
Give yourself the freedom to embrace and explore your desires.
“Sex is a great stress releaser for me… or masturbation,” says Dr. Sophia Yen, Co-Founder and CEO of Pandia Health.
MedArmour is a great site that provides cool resources like how to find the right vibrator. This sex positive company sells medical grade sex toys so you have the freedom of choosing a product without the worry of trying to understand what materials and ingredients it is made out of.
Pandia Health also promotes sex positivity and encourages its community to take charge of its sexual health. To help you all understand and appreciate yourselves more in the bedroom, Pandia has partnered with MedArmour. When you make a purchase on MedAmour, you will receive $10 off $50+ purchases and FREE shipping over $55 with the code: Pandia. Additionally, for $5 off of Pandia Health’s services, please use the referral code: MedAmour
Be Prepared with Pandia
While we fully advocate for and support sex positivity, it is important to remember that part of owning your sexuality is owning your seuxal health – especially if you want to avoid an unplanned preganancy. At Pandia Health, we deliver birth control for free to anyone who has access to a mailbox and the internet. In addition to birth control pills, Pandia Health can also provide you with the birth control patch or ring, and emergency contraception like Plan B and Ella.
Remember, being sex positive is about, embracing your sexuality, respecting others’ preferences, and empowering yourself!
The above information is for general informational purposes only and is NOT a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor/primary care provider before starting or changing treatment.